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Decided to read this book just because. Not like I’m in a situation where I’m not sure if there’s a deal breaker or not, but I’ve definitely been there before and have no desire to ever be there again. Or more like I’m routinely in that situation–where someone does not meet the standard–and I just walk away because I’d rather nothing than some half assed shit.
This book was good for organizing the types of guys you have to leave. Like the scriptwriter (someone who thinks they know who you are and what you’re up to but they’re wrong but they’re so convinced they’re right that they project onto you constantly) or the controller or the never wrong guy or the man-child or the invisible man. There’s some overlap in these personalities. In a way, all of them are simply dishonest.
The two types I’ve seen a lot are the scriptwriter and the invisible man. I’ve definitely had guys who thought they knew me soooo well based on their assumptions about me but really just didn’t get me at all. Usually they think I’m a big fat cheater who is sleeping with everyone in the world and no matter what you do or say nothing will change their minds about it. Hint: they’re always cheating.
The invisible man is the type to be there but not really be there. This is the emotionally unavailable dude who wants to sleep with you but doesn’t really want to connect or be together in a real way. You’re with them and they say and do some of the right things, but ultimately you can feel their distance. It’s fake and phony. These are the worst guys to me. They have emotionally avoidant attachment styles, which is like bottom of the barrel.
Anyway there’s comfort in noticing the patterns in your life. People do what they feel like, so if a person isn’t acting right then you don’t have to stick around. The tricky part is that guys will pretend to change or say they’ll change in order to continue having access to you. It’s the same thing as guys acting a certain way to get with you in the beginning. You have to be alert. You have to be willing to accept the truth, which isn’t always easy in matters of love.
Best line: Regardless of what is happening in your relationship, go forward with your day. Honor yourself and make your own plans. If he does not call, go out. If he does not change, move on with your life. -Bethany Marshall p 174